Making Mindfulness Fun
A lot of people are becoming more and more aware of the benefits of incorporating mindfulness into their lives. There is a wide body of research now demonstrating that mindfulness can promote a greater sense of wellbeing, reduce psychological suffering, improve attention, decrease emotional reactivity, and increase behavioural control. For those experiencing anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges it can be particularly important- because a lot of distress can be linked to worrying about the future or ruminating on the past; which is kind of the opposite of mindfulness!
What is often not clear though, is what exactly mindfulness is. Whenever I ask people what their understanding of mindfulness is, they usually say something along the lines of meditation, breathing exercises, or using a guided app. And these can certainly be one way to practice it! There are many fantastic apps around, but some that I often recommend to clients include Smiling Mind and Insight Timer.
What sometimes happens though is that people have preconceived ideas that these guided exercises or meditations are “boring”, “a chore” or that they “don’t work”. And this is where it can sometimes help to be mindful of how we understand what mindfulness is, and flexible with how we practice it!
What Exactly is Mindfulness?
Let’s start with a definition. Mindfulness can be thought of as a conscious, non-judgemental, moment-by-moment awareness of the present moment. This means it is a state of being, not a trait that is permanently fixed or a part of who we are. The goal of mindfulness is simply to be fully present in the moment. Aware of information arising from our senses or non-judgmentally noticing our internal experiences!
When we do experience a sense of calm or relaxation, that’s great, but this is not the primary goal of mindfulness! If we go into mindfulness with the expectation it “should” make us feel a certain way, we will be too busy analysing or judging whether that is happening to actually be present in what is occurring moment-by-moment! And this is often what people mean when they say mindfulness “didn’t work”. They mean it didn’t work to change their emotional state in that exact moment. And the irony is that by letting go of the agenda of trying to alter their emotional state, that is often the very thing that happens. And even if it doesn’t, by noticing and being mindful of it without judgement they can often feel more able to respond to it effectively, rather than automatically reacting without any conscious awareness!
When people report mindfulness is “too hard”, it is often because they hold unrealistic expectations that they “should” be able to control their mind without it wandering. Once again, letting go of these judgments and expectations can be really helpful. And at the same time, we can also be aware of how over time, the more we practice, the more we can increase our ability to stay focused for longer periods or to catch ourselves when we do get distracted!
Fun Ideas to Try!
Having said all of that though, if you have tried meditations or guided apps, or genuinely feel they are not helpful or workable in your life right now, that’s ok too! The good news is that there are a million ways we can practice mindfulness. So, here’s some ideas to get you started!
1. Music! Choose your favourite song, or one that resonates with you, and instead of it playing in the background whilst you multi-task or do other things, try pausing and focusing completely on the experience. You can choose to focus your attention on one aspect of it – the lyrics, the instruments, the bass, the tempo etc, or you can choose to just mindfully let the music wash over you and notice the feelings and sensations you experience internally as you listen. Each time your mind wanders and you start thinking about other things, just gently bring your focus back to the song.
2. Mindful dancing! We’ve all heard the old saying “dance like no one is watching”. Why not give it a try when nobody actually is watching! Try to go with the flow, moving your body in whatever way the urge arises! Practice letting go of self-consciousness and just being in the moment!
3. Mindful Art! Experiment with painting, drawing, colouring, flower arranging, sculpting with clay or play-doh, and once again try to really be present in the activity. Notice the colours you create, the textures or patterns arising, the feel of the pencil, paintbrush or material in your hands. You could try getting an adult colouring book, or experimenting with mandala circles, or practicing still-life drawing; or just go with the flow of creating something abstract!
4. Mindful appreciation of a loved one. This can be a really beautiful activity to do with a child, pet, or partner. Just spend a few minutes silently observing what you notice as you focus your full attention on them. With a child you might like to pause and watch them immersed in play: noticing their expressions of joy or concentration, the way they move, or the way their eyes light up when they look at you. Or you might like to snuggle them and inhale their scent or notice how soft their skin is or the way their body softens as they relax. With a pet you might like to softly stroke them and notice the sensation of their skin, fur or feathers, or spend time observing the different colours or patterns. With a partner you could try observing them as they go about everyday activities, noticing things about them you have taken for granted or stopped seeing in the everyday familiarity, or you could consciously spend a minute or two looking into each other’s eyes. Noticing what emotions arise as you engage in this silent intimacy.
5. Mindful Eating. Buy or prepare the most delicious food you can think of and consciously savour the experience. Use as many of your senses as you can- inhaling the scent, observing the colours or textures, really noticing how the flavours change. Slowly savouring each step in the process of tasting, chewing, swallowing. How is this different to eating the same food mindlessly whilst watching tv or multi-tasking? A similar thing can be done by pausing as you drink your coffee, tea, or juice in the morning: devote a minute (or even just one sip!) to savour the experience whilst letting go of everything else!
6. Mindful Pampering. Take a shower with the conscious intent to be as present in the activity as you can. Notice the feel of the water, the temperature on your skin, the scent of your shampoo, soap, or shower gel, the noise of the water beating down. How does this differ from a quick shower whilst mentally running through a to-do-list of all the things you need to complete. Or try luxuriating in a bubble bath, or spending a few minutes gently rubbing in hand cream or body lotion and noticing the sensations, really observing your skin with fresh eyes and noticing what it’s like to consciously nurture your body.
7. Mindful Exercise. Some forms of exercise like Yoga, Tai Chi, or Pilates naturally lend themselves to a mind-body connection and present-moment awareness. But get creative and find out what works for you! A mindful walk where you notice the nature around you, focusing your attention on your senses instead of walking whilst your mind is elsewhere? Or perhaps a team sport or kick-about with the family! Immerse yourself fully in the activity and just go with the flow!
8. Mindful Games. Any kind of game can be turned into a mindfulness activity simply by focusing your attention on what is happening in the moment - Have you ever played a family board game and noticed everyone is fully present, participating, and connected? Living in that exact moment instead of pre-occupied with earlier events of the day or worries of tomorrow? That’s mindfulness!
If you do want to try some specific fun activities to practice though, here are some ideas that are great for kids, but that teens, and grown-ups can enjoy too:
· Create a story together. Take turns to say one word or one sentence before the next person has to follow it up. “Once” “There” “Was” “A” etc. It requires focused attention without being able to predict or jump too far ahead! Let go of judgments about what you say and just go with it!
· The Alphabet game – Similar to the one above, take turns to say an animal that starts with the last letter of the word before. Eg “Alligator” “Rhino” “Orang-Utan” etc.
· Simon Says – An old classic, but so good for helping kids focus their attention in the moment!
· Balancing Egg- This was one of my favourite mindfulness activities from a group therapy program I co-facilitated. Give everyone a raw egg and sit at a table – Get everyone to practice balancing their egg upright. It requires focused attention and patience and can be lots of fun! But it often elicits frustration and judgments which can be a great chance to practicing noticing this and non-judgmentally coming back to the activity.
9. Mindful nature: Spend some time at the beach, near a lake, in a park, or a forest. Try to focus on just observing all the information coming through your senses in that moment. Noticing the sound of the waves or of birds chirping, the leaves moving in the wind, the clouds in the sky, sunlight reflecting off the water etc. You can try embracing a still presence where you simply sit back and notice the nature surrounding you, or you could try an active form of mindfulness where you throw yourself fully into an outdoors activity in that moment: swimming, hiking, horse-riding, running, bike-riding, rock climbing, or anything else that takes your fancy! To embrace mindfulness the only thing you need to do is be present! Observe any worries or distractions or self-judgments as they arise, and simply practice letting them go through redirecting your attention to exactly what you’re doing in that moment!
Hopefully by now you have a few ideas for other ways to embrace mindfulness, but the wonderful thing about it being a state of being we can cultivate is that we can make any moment in our lives a mindful one! Mindfulness doesn’t have to mean planning extra time in your schedule to practice. Sometimes it’s just about noticing what’s already happening!
