Mind Reading
Do you ever find yourself assuming you know what others might be thinking? Or that you know the rationale behind their behaviour? For example, you might be talking to someone and have the thought “they don’t want to be here talking to me”, “they think I’m stupid”. Another example might be if your boss asks to speak to you and the thoughts that might happen are “they don’t think I’m good enough to do this job” or “they’re angry about something I did”.
This pattern of thinking is called mind-reading, which is an unhelpful thinking style that every person tends to engage in from time to time. Unhelpful thinking styles can also become automatic habits that individuals may not realise they are engaging in. This becomes problematic when these thoughts cause an increase in anxiety and decrease in mood. When this happens regularly and consistently this may have a detrimental impact on an individual’s social, academic, occupational and personal life. It is common in anxiety disorders and depressive disorders that an individual’s symptoms may be maintained by unhelpful thinking styles such as mind-reading.
Mind-reading occurs when we believe we know what someone else is thinking, usually about us. We might jump to conclusions about a person or situations due to our prediction of what they’re thinking. Often times, these conclusions are a reflection of how we think about ourselves, e.g. “I think I’m boring to talk to”, “I think I’m bad at my job, I always do things wrong”. Because we believe these things to be true about ourselves, we might jump to the conclusion that others think these things about us too.
If you are somebody who may notice yourself having thoughts involving mind-reading from time to time, there are ways in which we can begin to become more critical and analytical of our thoughts. This can help us determine whether the thought is realistic and fair which may alleviate some distress that the thought caused. It can be helpful to write the thought down, then ask yourself:
Am I assuming I know what others are thinking? What’s the evidence? Those are my own thoughts, not theirs. Is there another, more balanced way of looking at it?
It is also important to be mindful of when we are stressed or tired as we may be more prone to engaging in unhelpful thinking styles such as mind-reading. This can be managed by maintaining self-care strategies particularly during times of stress which may include, exercise, relaxation activities, stress relieving techniques and mindfulness.
When we begin to pay more attention to this pattern of thinking we can get better at stopping it in its tracks!
