Talking to Children about Coronavirus (COVID-19)

Many parents are reporting finding it difficult to know how to have a conversation with their children about the Coronavirus, and how to help minimise their children’s anxiety about themselves, their parents, and other people they care about. By talking openly about COVID- 19, you will help your child to feel informed, heard, that they know what to do to stay safe, and that they able to bring up any concerns they may have in the future. Here are some tips for talking to children about COVID-19:

Don’t Let Your Own Fear Be In Charge

• Many people are understandably anxious about the coronavirus, so it is important to be aware of your own anxiety levels. 

• Children often become worried when they observe their parents’ anxiety and fear. This might come about through noticing constant focus on the topic, overhearing conversations, or noticing expressions or actions that convey fear.  

•  It is important for parents to manage their own emotional responses and model how to cope through calm behaviour and sensible actions. You might start on this by identifying and naming your emotions, talking to other adults about how you are feeling, and checking you are focusing on facts. 

• Also check out earlier blogs that focus on how to manage your anxiety and worry in the context of COVID-19. Seek professional support if you do not feel like you are coping.

Bring Up the Topic

While it might feel uncomfortable or confronting to talk about COVID-19, as many parents instinctually want to shield their children, nearly all children will be aware of some information (factual or not) and will have picked up on stress in the family.  

By bringing up the topic, parents can:·       

• demonstrate a sense of control

• model and encourage honesty and trust

• provide factual information

• reassure children that they can talk about the topic, and will be heard

• reassure children that they can address worries

How To Start - What Do They Know?

• Start by asking your child what they know, or have heard, about COVID-19 (or Coronovirus - use the term they are most familiar with). Let them know that you are interested in everything they have heard or come across, even if they are not sure if it is true.

• Validate fears and worries

  • One of the most important aspects of discussing COVID-19 with a child of any age is to listen. When you ask them about what they know and think about Coronavirus, listen carefully to what they are afraid of or confused about, and be careful not to dismiss their fears, interrupt or interrogate them. 

  • Some of your child’s fears may not seem correct or relevant to you, but remember they are still real fears for your child.

  • Not only will understanding their feelings and fears help you to work out how best to go about talking to them, but your child will feel heard, understood and supported. 

  • If your child’s fears are based on wrong or inadequate information, this can be addressed by providing facts and helpful information.

  • If your child’s fears are valid, you can help support your child and talk about ways of staying safe and managing difficult feelings.

  • Also check out the earlier blog by Stephanie Hill on the role of validation in parenting. 

Once you understand what your child knows and is concerned about, you can work out where best to start when addressing the facts and alleviating some of their concerns.

Keep It Simple, Age-Appropriate and Factual

When talking to children about COVID-19:

• Check that your language and tone of voice are positive

• Stick to the essential facts and avoid over-explaining or interpreting. Do not over-burden young people with too much information. 

• Make sure that you only rely on information from credible, accurate sources (and teach your children to as well if they are old enough). For example, the Australian Government or World Health Organisation (WHO). This is your opportunity to let your child know accurate information, and to diminish the effects of their imagination or misleading information that they may have acquired.

• Give practical advice about how to stay healthy. This allows your child to feel proactive and able to protect themselves and those around them.

• Make space for your child to ask questions, and answer these as honestly as possible (bearing in mind their age). It is also ok to say that you don’t know. You can talk about how people are trying to answer many questions.

• For younger children, sit close to them, maintain physical contact, and try to be at eye-level

• Younger children will learn and understand best if you model behaviour such as washing hands thoroughly with soap and water (while singing a song for 20 seconds), avoid touching your face, and cough into your elbow. You can also demonstrate social distancing. 

• There are many good resources available to help younger (and older) children, but check that they are reliable and accurate. For example, online videos (e.g. YouTube) can help to help demonstrate to younger children behaviours such as washing their hands properly, and explain why it is important, and how to do it. Also, have a look at the ABC’s Play School episode on Coronavirus, and other resources: https://www.abc.net.au/abckids/shows/play-school/covid-19/12114308

Adapting to Change and Problem-Solving

As children and their families are experiencing many changes in their lives as a consequence of COVID-19, it is important for parents to address the need for change in as calm and positive a manner as possible. This will help children to also respond more calmly.

• Keeping to usual routines and schedules as much as possible helps children (and adults) feel safe and in control. When changes need to be made, parents can calmly establish new routines to adapt to the circumstances.

• School closures and social distancing have created particular challenges for children, and it is important to listen for the difficulties children might be experiencing with these (and other) changes. Parents can help by:

  • Letting children know why the changes are necessary and helpful, and that the changes are not forever.

  • Identifying what emotions and particular problems are being felt, and working on how to solve these problems together. For example, if children are missing seeing their friends or some family members face-to-face, help them to find other ways to stay connected via telephone, online channels, or creating gifts or cards/letters. Also see the earlier blog on problem solving approaches.

Ongoing Monitoring

• Provide regular opportunities to continue the conversation, and check-in with how children are feeling. Try and be mentally present when your child is talking to you, so that you don’t miss a cue that they want to talk about something.

• Children often find it hard to talk about their difficult feelings and worries, and so parents might notice changes in behaviour instead. These changes might include becoming angry and frustrated more quickly, or withdrawing from the family.

• Headaches, stomach-aches, or difficulty sleeping may also indicate that children are worried.

• Children should be encouraged to tell an adult if they are not feeling well.