How To Readjust To Life After Covid Restrictions Using ACT
As restrictions start to slowly lift in regards to social distancing, it’s important to think about how we re-adjust to a different way of life yet again. We’re hearing a lot of talk about things returning to “normal”, however it’s more likely that we will all be forging a “new normal” from here on out. Adjusting into social distancing and self-quarantining restrictions was probably quite difficult. However, adjusting back out of restrictions and into a more busy, social, and active again can be equally as challenging.
Some things are starting to look similar to before the shut down – school children are back in uniforms, in playgrounds, and on buses. Cafes now have places to sit down and order at the table. Sport events are beginning to run again. Supermarket shelves are always fully stocked. You may have been seeing small groups of friends and family again.
However, there are still things that haven’t changed (and many won’t for a while). Many of us are still working and doing therapy from home. It’s acceptable (even welcomed!) to wear face masks in public. We are (hopefully) all still washing our hands frequently and carrying hand sanitiser with us. Domestic and international borders are still closed, and overseas holidays seem far away. It may be challenging to visit older parents or grandparents, and the presence of a cough or sniffle is still threatening.
As restrictions begin to lift further, we might notice ourselves feeling the impact of re-adjusting yet again. And this is totally normal! In the same way we might have noticed a variety of unpleasant or uncomfortable experiences when restrictions began, we may experience these symptoms as things are lifting, even if we are pleased or excited about the easing social distancing!
It’s totally okay to perhaps feel more nervous, on edge, or irritable. To be ruminating or having disrupted sleep. You might notice your mood shift, or you preferred style of distorted thinking flare up. Definitely speak about this with someone – perhaps a close friend or family member, or maybe your GP or Psychologist if you’re particularly concerned.
ACT is a mode of therapy with the goal of psychological flexibility. As we move through different stages of restrictions, being able to stay ‘psychologically flexible’ is a great way to move through life and adjust to the world after COVID.
ACT was developed by Steven Hayes, and it centres around 6 core processes, to address an individual’s concerns with their life, their feelings, thinking, and/or behaviour. Each process has a helpful perspective on how to increase our psychological flexibility, and deal with “life on life’s terms”, as the saying goes.
Acceptance
Acceptance is not necessarily approval of something, such as an experience or emotion or event. We don’t need to like or enjoy something to accept it. To accept is to move out of a place of denial or avoidance, and ‘sit with’ what whatever is going on. You might want to read Stephanie’s previous blog post on Willingness, which was published last month, and I think is particularly relevant here. As we adjust to post-COVID life changes, acceptance can look like acknowledging the wide variety of thoughts and feelings that we are experiencing (or acknowledging, not denying or avoiding, those experiences in others!).
2. Contact with the present moment
You’ve probably heard it explained before that depression is a tendency to ‘live’ in the past, and anxiety is a tendency to ‘live’ in the future. ACT encourages us to make contact with the present moment. By doing so we allow ourselves to cope with and manage and enjoy what is happening in (and only in) the here and now. There are many ways to do this, perhaps through forms of mindfulness meditation. But even types of journaling, gratitudes, breathwork, and exercise can help us create present moment awareness. Particularly as restrictions begin to lift, we might find ourselves spending more time in the future (“what could happen?”) or maybe in the past.. When you notice yourself doing that, try and find one way to connect yourself with your present moment (using one of your five senses is helpful!).
3. Values
What have you learnt about yourself during this time? When we experience change, we often get a chance to re-evaluate our values. Perhaps you’ve realised how much you’ve loved having quiet, unhurried weekends, maybe you’ve surprised yourself with how you’ve adapted to take care of your kids and do homeschooling, maybe you’ve enjoyed picking up some craft or cooking, or maybe you’ve enjoyed spending more time with the people you live with. What have you enjoyed? What have you missed? How have these restrictions revealed to you what you VALUE? This part if particularly important for Step 6, below. Without creating conscious awareness of our values, we’re often more likely to live in a way which is automatic and perhaps not authentic. Before life becomes busy again, think about what you might want to change to do more of what’s important to you (and less of what isn’t).
4. Cognitive Defusion
Cognitive defusion is to, as the name suggests, “de-fuse” from our thoughts. We can often become attached to our thoughts, and they can play a big role in how we feel and how we act or behave, and what decisions we make. We aren’t our thoughts though. Separating ourselves from what we think can be helpful in many ways – it can help us think clearer, particularly when experiencing ‘brain fog’ due to depression or anxiety. It can also help us become less impacted by the emotions that these thoughts bring. I often encourage clients to say “I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough”, rather than “I’m not good enough” as a way to begin defusion. As we move back into a different way of living, perhaps try labelling your thoughts in this way (e.g. “I’m having the thought that I won’t be able to cope at school”, or “I’m noticing the feeling of anxiety rise in my chest”).
5. Self-as-context
‘Self as context’ is a tricky concept, but in essence, is to understand that we are not our thoughts or feelings, but we are the being that can observe these thoughts or feelings. Self as context involves creating an “observer self”. It’s why I often like to invite clients to start writing in a journal, as it encourages observation of our internal processes. When we connect with our ‘observer self’ we can also begin to see other “parts” of our self – label them and work with them (such as a scared, fearful self, or our bold, courageous self, or our creative, playful self). When we have an observer self, we might also find it easier to be compassionate and kind to the parts of ourself that we don’t like. As we move out of some restrictions, take some time to notice your reactions to things. ‘Self as context’ is not necessarily about trying to change reactions or thoughts, it’s simply about observing them. Maybe if you’ve got some extra time in the morning because there’s no commute, take some time out to journal or reflect.
6. Committed Action
Like the name suggested, ACT is about taking committed action. Particularly in a values-drive direction (which is why Step 3 is so important!). We can spend a lot of time thinking, planning, ruminating, or procrastinating – but a core feature of ACT is doing. After reflecting on your values, perhaps come up with some concrete ways to take action in line with your values. Maybe you want to drop an extra-curricular, or pick one up. Perhaps you want to walk outside more, or be more thankful, or commit to spending more time with your family or housemates. I often encourage clients to consider Dr. Nicole LePera’s (@theholisticpsychologist) approach, and to make one small promise to yourself each day – keep it really, really small (no big resolutions here!) and get into the habit of doing something values-driven each day.
